I tried to fix my speeding ticket…ok, not really. But how about I tired to fix the traffic school class to fix my speeding ticket? Or how does a middle aged Christian woman, end up doing something unethical little own illegal?
It was about 2005. And I got a speeding ticket. I accepted it and took it well. After all I speeded. (One time I went into tears and it worked as he decided to just give me a warning). But this time…I sailed through it. Probably because I had the thought, “hey, I’ll just go to traffic school”.
But sometimes…well, a lot of times I have been kwown to procrastinate. And somehow the date of the traffic school was not just looming but I missed it. I wasn’t happy with myself…at all. Maybe my tears would help get a government worker to give me an extension.
I called the court and no answer. (Of course not, it’s like a black hole). So I thought if I could find a class that day I could take the paperwork into the office and somehow plead insanity. (no comments please on how close I come) And maybe they would take pity and allow it to keep the ticket off my record. Yeah, that’ll work!
So I called a traffic school, and someone answered the phone. Great…so as I shared he started saying odd things. Sounding like I was apart of a CSI plot line. What it boiled down to was that he would just take my $40 and he would sign the document that I had taken the class.
I know…what was I thinking? But there I was going to get two twenties from the atm and off I went. Not only did I go, I went into the deep part of the our desert area where most of the homes were suspect looking. And who knows how many meth labs are in this part this more isolated area.
I pulled up and there were blankets hanging outside the porch, to keep the house cooler maybe? I gave him the money and he signed the paper.
Did I know how crazy this was at the time? Yes..yes I did. But I had a mission,to keep the ticket off my record. And if you remember, the date had passed. It was already going to be on my record. And yet, I did it.
I went home and was just so upset with myself. Shame has a way of doing that. My need for perfection outweighed any common sense I hold dear. I had stooped pretty low and was now realizing just what I had done.
Our son Tim and his girlfriend Brianna were at the house. I just had to share this story with them in hopes someone would tell me I was ok.
Tim being a man of few words. He simply said “mom, you know what this means”?”No” I said expecting a lecture.
“You’re one of us mom”.
And with that I laughed. I laughed out the shame and realized what trying to hide my imperfections had done.
I had been humbled to say the least. Did I actually commit a crime? It’s debatable. But either way Jesus says it’s what’s in the heart. So I confessed pride. And thankfully I have been forgiven.
For we are all in this together. Stumbling around most times. And this my friends is why we need a savior. To lead us, to love us, and to save us. Because without Him…we are lost!
I struggle, I deal with health issues, but I like me. I like the person God has created me to be. And when I get there I’ll let you know. But in the meantime thanks for coming in and having a cup of tea with me!