I struggle. I have entered an arena I have never entered before. I am comfortable in what I have done for over thirty years as I am good at it. I know how to make stuff. I can see something and almost know instantly how to make it. I love creating in just about every form possible. I started refinishing furniture in the 1980s. I now joke that I spend my time painting the pieces I stripped and will probably strip the pieces I painted when bare wood comes back in style.

I made my maternity clothes  into dresses for my daughter and shirts for my son. I was the original trash to treasure girl in the mid 1980s.  Proving this when my sister-in-law Evelyn turned to her daughter Susie and said “don’t leave anything behind here at Aunt Emily’s house; you’ll see it made into something else in two weeks”.

My husbands hours changed, and no longer had night duties. So he got into the game and invented these amazing bird feeders around 2009. Then in 2011  we moved back home to San Diego, a more metropolis area. There were more craft shows and street fairs. I saw how people reacted to his bird feeders and we were off and running. One year we did twenty two shows. I loved it. I love to create and I love to sell. And yet in the back of my head I knew one day it would go away. After all I was no spring chicken and it’s not easy setting up booths and carrying boxes back and forth. But how? Once you do something like this you’re always saying “this season I am going to just use up all I have and quit”. It’s a common denominator with any person that does something like this. We all know it’s an addiction that feeds our souls, or some unmet need from childhood.

And so now I’ve written a book. I have put my little toe in the waters of a world I know nothing about. I’ve never been to a book fair, a workshop or even met another author. I confess…I have no idea what I am doing. And yet I feel as though I am standing on a teeter totter wondering which foot to put pressure on. The craft shows are about to end for the Fall season. And yet…I have blogs to write. And interviews to show up for. One world I know, it’s comfortable. The world of writing is scary. It could fizzle out as someone could point and say “are you kidding me?”. And yet I am drawn to test the waters and see where God could be leading me.

And then I open my email with a blog from a ministry “Daily Disciples” and it says “Get out of the Boat”. With the illustration of when Jesus had left them they went back to fishing. They went back to what they knew. Of course they did, who doesn’t? 

But they were scolded for it too.  It’ll be interesting to see where God leads this little soul.