Our Expectations vs Reality

We all do it. We all have pondered what it would be like to win the lotto. To have the perfect house. Spouse. Children. Complexion.

But has it ever helped? If so you’ve read one too many Cosmo magazines. (Though one is too many imo) and think that wishful thinking is a synoman for goal planning.

Oh sure…plan for a vacation, paying off debt, a newer car. But when we live in a constant state of turmoil of what should’ve been…

Maybe it’s time to take a look at our expectations verses reality.

For myself having lost our son, and a daughter in a gay lifestyle…let me tell ya...my life is not what I pictured.

I saved their toys for their children in a special box. That now holds packing material for eBay and etsy sales.

I thought my out-stretched arms would be filled with grandchildren I visited.

Not to say I don’t live with hope that there’s more to our story…but my previous dreams went by the wayside a long time ago.

So how do we cope with those change of plans?

Well…I’d like to call it lessoning the gap.

This is a worksheet I’ve made up. I myself did this one:So here’s your homework to save and print (sorry I don’t know how to make it a printable yet ;)) for you yourself to work on.

I challenge you to do the work.

Because when we identify the results of a large gap we can then take it a step further and come up with ways to lesson the gap…like:

  • Forgiving that spouse that was emotionally absent will set you free from resentment.
  • Understanding how much the Father loves us will release us from not measuring up to daddys expectations.
  • Taking in that our child is a prodigal may help us call for an appt with a faith based counselor. Which is a step in being proactive.

And ultimately you’ll see as you work through these things the fruit of the spirit will come up.

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So be kind to yourself and take the time to do this homework.

So we won’t continually hit our head on the ceiling with magical thinking when we live in “high expectation” mode.

But instead allow yourself to accept where things are at and ask the Father to help you lesson the gap.

Would love to hear the outcome on your own homework.

Blessings upon you for the Fathers peace in every slice of reality!

With love,

Emily

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Gwen says:

    I can tell you are committed to the journey…loving them even when they hurt you.
    You are a great woman..the kind of those that look to our creator for their example.
    Bkessings,
    Gwen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Gwen,
      The tenacious spirit the Father gave me isn’t willing to give up.
      Though learning to not expect others to meet my expectations, allows me to rest in the journey.
      Much love,
      Emily

      Like

  2. JaySee says:

    What is normal? What do you perceive as normality? The world is a beautiful place full of different types of people. The God I believe in embraces all cultures, races, creeds, genders and sexualites.
    You are filled with hate. Not love.
    You didn’t attend her wedding and now you are shocked that you have been cut out of her life. Good for her! Clearly she has a better parent in her father, who loves her unconditionally. Like a parent SHOULD!
    From what I have seen on your blog, you sound like you need a psychiatrist, not a bible. A bible is not a manual for how to live your life. Hiding your hate behind the words of Jesus is not why Jesus died on the cross. Jesus was love, you are hate. He spread the word of love, not sorrow.
    You volunteered yourself out of your daughter’s life because you imagined a different life for her for YOU to benefit from.
    I think you need to hear other people’s advice instead of making blogs, FB pages, writing books about your disdain for the LGBT community.

    Your daughter deserves a medal for the strength in being the child of a homophobe.

    Like

    1. Jaysee,
      Thank you for taking the time to read something you disagree with.
      Blessings to you and your family. Hope they are all well!

      Much love,
      Emily

      Like

  3. Gmom says:

    Jaysee,
    It is sad to see that differences in belief views deserves name calling. You accused Emily of hate and degrated her views and attacked her as person which doesn’t show respect at all.

    You have your life that is filled with ups and downs whatever they maybe, and some mistakes and some things you believe now that you didn’t before because you’ve grown and matured, we are all on a journey of healing forgiving and learing to live in the world that is filled with so much pain that we all have been guilty of dishing out.

    Just because we have different views and beliefs we shouldn’t be dishonoring and disrespectful.

    We are not robots, we are all different. and if we aren’t allowed that then our goal of healing will never be met. Love dosent mean agreement. Blessings on you in your journey through this life and may we learn to honor and respect each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Grace says:

    I’m reading your comments, Jaysee, and wonder why you attack this woman’s journey as a statement of hate? Love doesn’t mean agreement or support. I think our world has an immature view of love. It’s frustrating to be labelled homophobic because a person doesn’t support homosexuality. From everything I see here in Emily’s blog, I see a heart beating for love – and I’m a rational, mature human. Not a homophobe.

    Ultimately, to use Jesus in your argument is sad to me. Jesus followed the Torah of His Father – which has much to say about homosexuality. Yes, Jesus cared about the woman caught in adultery and did not condemn her – he wanted her free of the lifestyle she was living (And the same can be said about every person he encountered who genuinely came to HIM). Jesus did not want her dead; was showing mercy. He said to that broken woman, “Go and sin no more.” I won’t pretend to say I understand the complexities of this issue; it’s not been my road to walk. I just wanted to say it’s ridiculous to throw insults then use Jesus as your example of love.

    Emily is speaking openly and kindly to many. She’s not judging. I see none of that here. I hope you see that.

    Liked by 1 person

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