If you’re coming over from Arabahs site welcome. You may be coming over because you too have a child or loved one in the gay lifestyle. Or that you would like to learn more. Or that you’re just curious. Either way…welcome. My hope is that this is a soft place to land for those that are hurting.
My heart breaks with yours. I have been on this road for over ten years and I know it’s not an easy one.
Taking time to heal is the first thing I would suggest. So if you’re in the beginning phase of this, this advice is coming from years of experience. So take it slow and only do what you can
I can’t speak for you, but I know I felt buried when our daughter came out. I couldn’t breath and surely didn’t think I could ever feel alive again. I prayed for her to just come back…but…
When we are faced with a situation we typically pray for the end result, not the process of becoming like Christ”. (Unknown author).
So at some point I made the decision to do more than the just pray about it advice that’s so easily given. I searched out for God. I searched for answers. I thought no matter what I will do what I can to help her come back. Little did I know where it would take me.
And with ten plus years under my belt I can say I would never have learned in the way I have learned without this challenge of trying to help heal the broken relationship with my daughter. It’s been the second hardest hurdle, but with the most rewards.
Here is Arabahs site if you haven’t come from there, to read more of our background. And if you’d like to know more I invite you to read my other articles. The ones catoragized “Love does not mean agreement stories“. Also Advice for prodigals. It’s a small blog, so it won’t take long. And it will explain a lot.
I’d like to share the things I did to try and learn everything I could. As the father in the story of prodigal … met his son half way.
What I did, especially in the beginning was to go to search the Internet (you choose which search engine), Amazon and YouTube. With the words “healing homosexuality” or “healing same sex attraction”. I gained a lot of understanding and hope this way. And a small library, which am excited to share with you.
If you like YouTube videos:
- Here are some from a “Love Won Out” conference from “Focus on the Family”. Here is Melissa Fryrear. She discusses female homosexuality. And she knows from experience as she used to be gay herself.
- Remember Anne Heche? She dated Ellen in the 1990s. Did you know her mother (Dr Nancy Heche) is a Christian and was prayerful during the time (and most likely still is) for her daughter? She has an amazing testimony in that her husband died of aides. I found it very encouraging.
- Joe Dallas. He himself used to be gay and has a great story. He has a ministry in the greater Los Angela’s area.
Testimonial videos that have given me hope along with truth:
- Being that our daughter is in the limelight I searched for someone that was in the media. And I found her, Charlene. She ran a magazine for black lesbians. Her story is incredible. Very much worth watching.
- This young man Kegan’s testimony is amazing as well. He has such courage!
- This man, Dr. David Kyle Foster used to be gay, and now helps with the ministry Pure Passion. Here is part 1 and part 2 of some pretty heavy information.The ministry Pure Passion deals with healing from any sexual sin. I think they are making a movie right now in fact.
- Are they born that way? This theologian gives a compassionate response to what the world wants us to believe.
- “Gay Children Straight Parents” by Richard Cohen. It helped me so much. He gave a plan…I like plans. No it’s not fail proof. And it doesn’t come with a guarantee. And also…not easy. But he runs a ministry too where one can go for family counseling.
- “The Heart of the Female Same-Sex Attraction” by Janelle Hallman She counsels woman with SSA (same sex attraction) in Denver. So she has amazing insight to the complexity of SSA. I think this book is actually meant for fellow counselors. But is written in a way that a lay person can understand it. And I can learn how to understand my daughter and her friends better…that has to be a good thing.
- Not gonna lie..I’d love for you to read my book. While it doesn’t mention homosexuality, you will read about Gods providence for our family during the loss of our son. It truly is an incredible story.
- “The Power of Praying for Your Adult Chrildren” by Stormie Omartian. While she doesn’t specifically talk about homosexuality she offers some amazing prayers and suggestions for prodigals. Available at most Christian book stores. And also has study guides or just the prayers…many flavors to choose from.
- “Out of a Far Country” by Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan. A gay son’s journey to God. And a broken mother’s search for hope. I confess…it’s still on my nightstand unread. But it comes highly recommended.
- I found “Living Stones Ministries” in 2005. I don’t even want to know what I would’ve done without them. They are a great resource and have seminars. You can sign up for their email newsletter or call them for help.
- This ministry “Healing for the Soul” comes highly recommended. They have many resources and a phone number to call.
And now you may be overwhelmed…I know…it’s a lot to take in. But to quote an old joke…”how do you eat an elephant…one bite at a time”… So be patient with yourselves. God is!
And I’d be honored if you’d follow me. I think it could get interesting!
With the risk of sounding trite…the best advice I can give you is to seek our creator Yahweh …looking up at a Him for His sustainance. Because He will give you strength to get through this. As He knows what it will take to heal.
And sometimes I think we were chosen for this, so I thank God for this challenge. Because someone needs to show them the way to Jesus. And who better…than those who know Him.
Like I say on my author page, I want this to be a safe place. Because in the way the world is right now we are looked down upon for wanting the best for our children. Meaning; only respectful comments please. Anything less won’t be posted.
And if you have any questions, comments or suggestions for future posts. I’d love to hear from you.
Hugs my friends!
May the blessings come upon you that will heal you and your loved ones.