A Safe Place to Land

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If you’re coming over from Arabahs site, you may be coming over because you too have a child or loved one in the gay lifestyle. Or that you would like to learn more. Or that you’re just curious. Either way…welcome. My hope that this is a soft place to land for those that are hurting.

My heart breaks with yours. I have been on this road for over ten years and I know it’s not an easy one.

Taking time to heal is the first thing I would suggest. So if you’re in the beginning phase of this, this advice is coming from years of experience. So take it slow and only do what you can.

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I can’t speak for you, but I know I felt buried when our daughter came out. I couldn’t breath and surely didn’t think I could ever feel alive again. I prayed for her to just come back…but…

“When we are faced with a situation we typically pray for the end result, not the process of becoming like Christ”. (Unknown author).

So at some point I made the decision to do more than the just pray about it advice that’s so easily given. I searched out for God. I searched for answers. I thought no matter what I will do what I can to help her come back. Little did I know where it would take me.

And with ten plus years under my belt I can say I would never have learned in the way I have learned without this challenge of trying to help heal the broken relationship with my daughter. It’s been the second hardest hurdle, but with the most rewards.

Here is Arabahs site if you haven’t come from there, to read more of our background. And if you’d like to know more I invite you to read my other articles. The ones catoragized “Love does not mean agreement stories“. Also Advice for prodigals.  It’s a small blog, so it won’t take long. And it will explain a lot.

I’d like to share the things I did to try and learn everything I could. As the father in the story of prodigal … met his son half way.

What I did, especially in the beginning was to go to search the Internet (you choose which search engine), Amazon and YouTube.  With the words “healing homosexuality” or “healing same sex attraction”. I gained a lot of understanding and hope this way. And a small library, which am excited to share with you.

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If you like YouTube videos:

Here are some from a “Love Won Out” conference from “Focus on the Family”. Here is Melissa Fryrear. She discusses female homosexuality. And she knows from experience as she used to be gay herself.

Remember Anne Heche? She dated Ellen in the 1990s. Did you know her mother (Dr Nancy Heche) is a Christian and was prayerful during the time (and most likely still is) for her daughter? She has an amazing testimony in that her husband died of aides. I found it very encouraging.

Joe Dallas. He himself used to be gay and has a great story. He has a ministry in the greater Los Angela’s area.

Testimonial videos that have given me hope along with truth:

Being that our daughter is in the limelight I searched for someone that was in the media. And I found her, Charlene. She ran a magazine for black lesbians. Her story is incredible. Very much worth watching.

This young man Kegan’s testimony is amazing as well. He has such courage!

This man, Dr. David Kyle Foster used to be gay, and now helps with the ministry Pure Passion. Here is part 1 and part 2 of some pretty heavy information.The ministry Pure Passion deals with healing from any sexual sin. I think they are making a movie right now in fact.

Are they born that way?  This theologian gives a compassionate response to what the world wants us to believe.

Books

“Gay Children Straight Parents” by Richard Cohen. It helped me so much. He gave a plan…I like plans. No it’s not fail proof. And it doesn’t come with a guarantee. And also…not easy. But he runs a ministry too where one can go for family counseling.

The Heart of the Female Same-Sex Attraction” by Janelle Hallman She counsels woman with SSA (same sex attraction) in Denver. So she has amazing insight to the complexity of SSA. I think this book is actually meant for fellow counselors. But is written in a way that a lay person can understand it. And I can learn how to understand my daughter and her friends better…that has to be a good thing.

Not gonna lie..I’d love for you to read my book. While it doesn’t mention  homosexuality, you will read about Gods providence for our family during the loss of our son. It truly is an incredible story.

The Power of Praying for Your Adult Chrildren” by Stormie Omartian. While she doesn’t specifically talk about homosexuality she offers some amazing prayers and suggestions for prodigals. Available at most Christian book stores. And also has study guides or just the prayers…many flavors to choose from.

Out of a Far Country” by  Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan. A gay son’s journey to God. And a broken mother’s search for hope. I confess…it’s still on my nightstand unread. But it comes highly recommended.

Ministries.

I found “Living Stones Ministries” in 2005. I don’t even want to know what I would’ve done without them. They are a great resource and have seminars. You can sign up for their email newsletter or call them for help.

This ministry “Healing for the Soul” comes highly recommended. They have many resources and a phone number to call.

And now you may be overwhelmed…I know…it’s a lot to take in. But to quote an old joke…”how do you eat an elephant…one bite at a time”… So be patient with yourselves. God is!

And I’d be honored if you’d follow me. I think it could get interesting!

With the risk of sounding trite…the best advice I can give you is to seek our creator Yahweh …looking up at a Him for His sustainance. Because He will give you strength to get through this. As He knows what it will take to heal.

And sometimes I think we were chosen for this, so I thank God for this challenge. Because someone needs to show them the way to Jesus. And who better…than those who know Him.

Like I say on my author page, I want this to be a safe place. Because in the way the world is right now we are looked down upon for wanting the best for our children. Meaning; only respectful comments please. Anything less won’t be posted.

And if you have any questions, comments or suggestions for future posts. I’d love to hear from you.

Hugs my friends!

May the blessings come upon you that will heal you and your loved ones.

Emily 💗

17 Comments Add yours

  1. Hi Emily, I love how you’ve shared your journey to bless others. A good friend of mine just came to me heavy-hearted and shared that her step-son announced to the family that he is gay. My friend’s husband (the young man’s father) is really struggling with the news and it’s all so new and raw for them. I’m going to direct them to your site. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Cling to Biblical truth while also reaching those you love. I will pray that you can continue to stand in the gap. xo – Brook Joy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brook Joy,
      Thank you so much for your kind words.
      And I am sorry about your friends plight. I look forward to meeting him. And hopeful that some of the resources will help.
      We definitely walk this balance beam, of walking gingerly between compassion and not condoning.
      Thank you so much for your prayers. My husband and I definitely are on the front lines with this. We go to another of our daughters seminars (explained in my “love can be messy” post) soon.
      We love them so much Brook Joy, so will do anything to make sure they hear the truth.
      Much love,
      ❤️
      Emily

      Like

  2. Kristin Frye-Gallaher says:

    I guess the hardest part for me is that my daughter accepted Jesus when she was 9. Our pastor spoke with her and was assured that she had complete knowledge of what she was doing so that he water baptized her with me….and God said He would never leave her Nor forsake her… That His children would always be His….so how did this happen??? My daughter claims to be “pansexual”…gender doesn’t matter to her you could be tranavestite a transexual a woman a man a transgender… She went on in her description but I certainly failed in the …love her anyway and stay calm test..I lost my mind in rage!…I am heart broken but keep reaching to God for answers.

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    1. Kristen,
      I am so sorry for what you are going through. Because the enemy is a master of confusion these are confusing times we are living in…to say the least.

      If it’s any consolation I too lost it! And was also sure if I could find just the right verse I could convince her to wake up. It was just ugly.

      Our son thought he didn’t need God, but God had him in his sites. Just hours before he passed God gave him that opportunity to have a repentant heart. So I believe God sees her and is perusing her as we speak.

      You have so much on your plate right now. Too much. Let’s face it…all this transgender stuff we’ll never figure out. And I don’t think we have to. We just know she needs God.

      So maybe…just maybe it’d ok for you to take some time off? I am not saying go find a retreat in Arizona. But to breath. To listen to praise and worship even when you don’t feel like it. Read Gods word. To take in Gods goodness for yourself.

      When you’re ready please pursue some of the sites I shared. Especially the ministries. They can offer sound advice.

      And I’d like to pray over you 🤗

      Father I ask for a special blessing to come upon this family. please wrap your arms around Kristen. Let her know how much you care for her and her daughter. She wants the best for her daughter so we come against ALL of the enemies plans for her, and we declare victory over the lies that her daughter believes. We ask that you make it very clear Father that she is one of yours and her path is not of you. We ask this in the name of Jesus of Nazareth.
      Through His stripes we are healed!

      Much love to you sister.
      Thank you for reaching out! You are very brave.
      Hugs and lots of love!
      Emily

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  3. Angela Norris says:

    Thank you Emily! I look forward to taking in all the knowledge I can and praying without ceasing for my daughter who recently can out about 2 yrs ago before joining the Navy. She now has been separated for anxiety issues and back home near me. But the issues with her sexuality is a huge heartbreak for me as her mom and a major issue in my marriage as my husband has no children and doesn’t understand the unconditional love as a parent we have for our children. As a Christian family and a daughter who lead me to the church she was attending, I find myself feeling like I do not know how to relate to my daughter. She seems to be back and forth in relationships with males or females and as if she can’t find where she fits in to either side of a relationship, (she is only 20yrs old).I feel so lost and heartbroken and looking to God to help guide my heart and my mouth! Again, thanks for sharing! Be blessed!

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    1. Angela,
      My heart breaks for you. It is such a hard world we live into today.
      And coming against this “larger than life lie” is no easy task. And not feeling supported has, of course made this more difficult.

      But I also see this thread of wanting to do whatever you can which is what will help you more than anything….in that…no I won’t say “God helps those who helps themselves” (I really hate that platitude).

      But I believe if I was not willing to do what it takes we would not have gotten this far. I suggest the book on female same sex attraction and the other by Richard Cohen…”gay children straight parents” I believe. But it’s in the links.

      And family counseling may be a good idea.

      But…guess what…my advice is nothing compared to where God can lead you. He is the best author. He has a specific plan to get you where you need to go to help your family heal. We just need to be open to hearing His voice as to where to go. Not to say I hit a few road blocks. But boy…it always seemed that I needed to be giving up self. If you read “giving up the chaise”…you will laugh…and know what I mean.

      I would like to pray over you:

      Father I ask a blessing upon Angela. You know her heart and what she needs from her husband. And until he is able to supply those needs could you step in and fill her heart with your spirit. To love on her and fill those voids in her soul so she can heal and be able to have that relationship with her daughter that she longs for. Please give her the words and actions that come from you. And we come against the lies of the enemy that her daughter believes. We ask that you heal her from the anxiety the enemy has placed upon her…but that she knows the healing comes from you Father.
      In the name of Jesus of Nazareth!

      Much love and strength,
      🌹
      Emily

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  4. Stacey Scott says:

    Thank goodness I found your blog. I have been dealing with this for over 11 years. I was completely crushed and full of rage at first. I too, said very hurtful things to my first born, my first love, my daughter.. I still don’t understand. She was brought up in church and still loves the Lord. I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. I continue to look for Jesus’s face and pray for her daily. I feel such a peace knowing I am not the only Christian mom dealing with this. I wish many blessings on you and your family and all of the moms posting on your blog regarding their situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Stacey,
      Thank you so much for your kind words. And so glad we found each other. Prayers for your family, as I know this is sooooo challenging!
      Much love,
      Emily🌹

      Like

  5. Wanda Gorum says:

    I made many statements before the Supreme Court made their fateful decision. I know you are making this a safe place but have searched hard for a place that you have created. I do not want to say the wrong thing here but would like to communicate something God placed me in during college and I feel some girls may need to hear it. I am 63 now married with three wonderful children. Could we communicate in a different manner. I know God sent me here and thank you for your struggles for they will help others. Blessings. Wanda

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wanda,
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I almost like it that it’s a little blog. It’s a hard subject and to advertise this and risk getting names thrown at me (as has happened in other venues, wo provocation) I’d rather just trust God to bring me those who I can steer towards Him.
      And I will email you!
      Blessings!

      Like

    2. I emailed you a few days ago, so just in case it landed in spam I sent it to you again. I would love to hear what you have to say!
      Emily🌹

      Like

  6. Wanda Gorum says:

    I am so sorry, baby daughter is getting married April 8 and she is South Carolina and I am in Alabama and the wedding is in New Orleans where she went to seminary. I was worried I had forgotten where I read your message and today I sat wanting to spend time with our LORD and went to Pinterest where I save so many things and there was my answer to where you were again. I will search my emails and try to ‘splain myself” LOL God Bless

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh Emily, your transparency is a gift God is using. I will direct my friend to this post as she is a pastor’s wife with two gay sons. “When we are faced with a situation we typically pray for the end result, not the process of becoming like Christ”. I pray God blesses all who read this post. AMEN

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Barbara,
      Thank you so much for your kind words.
      If I can help even one person in this journey it is well worth allowing myself to be vulnerable.
      And so I’d be honored. I know how challenging this is, but with two that is obviously tough!
      Much love and gratitude!
      Emily🌹

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Carmen Dezpo says:

    I too have a daughter who claims to be homosexual, my heart breaks every time I see her dressing less and less feminine. I have been praying and God is the only thing that keeps me going. I feel so guilty and the “should of” thoughs fill my mind and it hurts like nothing else. I don’t have anybody to talk to. The support groups that I have found are of people that have accepted their children’s homosexuality as normal as there is nothing to do about it. They don’t feel bad about it. I would like to talk to someone that knows the pain and suffers with their children’s choices. Someone that will pray with me and will understand exactly how I fell.
    Please let me know if you know of a group like that.
    God bless you and guide you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carmen,
      I so feel your pain. This is the hardest thing, especially in today’s climate of “anything goes”.
      I know it feels hopeless right now. But it’s not. We can cling to Him, who gives us hope.

      So please go through my list of ministries on this page as they can guide you to a group where you will fit in. Or offer counseling. Because you are not alone.

      You can also contact me though Facebook or Instagram if you’d like to set up a time to talk.

      Father, please wrap your loving arms around Carmen and let her know there is hope. Hope through your son Jesus. The ultimate Healer and comforter. Please guide her to fund those like her, that know this lifestyle is not of you. To offer her hope and healing for her and her daughter.

      “For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord” (Jer 30:17).

      Hugs my friend…
      Much love,
      Emily

      Like

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